Love can be so complicated...
I want to define the 'love' in a broad context, not in the so-called 'universal understanding' -love between a woman and a man.
But still, two people -man and woman- met and became friends, the love between them is too complicated to define just as a friendship.
That is what I'm feeling.
Some people may say that women have 'fragile' and 'delicate' heart. I might not believed it before, but now I have to admit it. But it doesn't mean that a woman's heart is so delicate that it may break into pieces so easily. Because despite their delicate heart, women are a strong creature, they can endure so much pain before they let their heart breaks.
It just sometimes women seem so fragile because of the tears that falling down their eyes... or the tears that tearing down from their broken heart...
All the points aside, what I'm feeling may not be close to any of those typical heartbroken love. Because, despite I definitely like him, I just don't understand what is going on between our friendship -that's all we have from the beginning, by the way.
It's seem like we simply stop being friends all of a sudden... and I'm left in a confusion which I can't seem to comprehend. I just wish he could tell me if I've done something wrong, if I've made him hurt in any ways because I swear if I've ever made him hurt, I never realized it.
Actually I'm quite positive that he might misunderstood what I'm trying to say... because of my own attitude, I tend to not to speak up my mind and he might end up not really getting what I want him to understand.
Some friends told me to ask him myself... it's not easy in my situation. I've sent him a couple of messages, just simple messages but he never reply, so how should I get into the main concern?
I don't know what he's thinking, and I don't understand what exactly I'm feeling, the mixed feelings are all so confusing and depressing. I wish I could just throw all those feelings away... is it even possible?... huh...
O' Allah, please give me strength...
“God is with the broken-hearted. The dunya is designed to break your heart, to crush it. When your heart breaks, it’s a good thing – the breaking of the heart is what opens it up to the light of Allah.” – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf Hanson
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